He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
