You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
