Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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