What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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