i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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