i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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