Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize