Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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