it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
