is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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