Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
