Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
