If that was your dad, he is hot
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
