you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pants are for mortals
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
