I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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