First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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