So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize