True but thats because hes a fetus.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
