can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
