Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
