Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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