um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
my liver is dry heaving
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
