I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
