She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
