this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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