if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
