Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
