I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
