plz talk dirty to me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
