I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
