Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Im part way to drunk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
