btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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