He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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