Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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