Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
