So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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