trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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