Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
