Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
