I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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