i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Shame - the story of my life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
