but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
