What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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