I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize