im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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