I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
