dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
