I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
