Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
