I can tuck mytits in my pants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
