I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
