During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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