Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
