I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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