Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
where are my eyebrows?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
