We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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