everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
