In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
