brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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