You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
