i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
