my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
