i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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