dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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