He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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