Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
