Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize